So, I woke up at like 8:30 this morning, when my dad went out to get the paper. However, the paper was not the only parcel of joy delivered to the doorstep this morning. Atop the Hamilton Spectator, was perched a wondrously green and plump European praying mantis. Now wait! I know what you're saying. "Whoah-ho-ho! all the way from Europe?! Nice one Matt. Fucktard." But you'll be relieved to hear that no, the mantid was not shipped to me from Europe, nor did it make the journey itself with its - let's be honest - incompetent wings. No, this species was actually brought to North America quite a while ago. Mhm, so that covers that.
So my dad woke me up, and told me there was a praying mantis waiting for me at the door, so of course I jumped out of bed with much the same vigor as a 12 year old child on Christmas day, and headed to the front door where said praying mantis was waiting for me. I collected it most effectively and brought it to my basement lair where it is now currently residing in a terrarium, devouring crickets. Ah, but why, you ask, would I have a terrarium full of crickets just sitting in my basement... well, my friends and avid watchers... you will soon understand.
Thus begins the tale of Yojimbo and the rowdy, mutinous crickets. It was a beautiful mid-July day, and ~DaaBree-Jeff was over. We were fashioning a small habitat-thing from a plastic container for our newfound mantis friend, later to be named Yojimbo. If you wish to know the significance of the name/word "yojimbo", you can easily find out via wikipedia.com.
Within a week, Yojimbo was upgraded to terrarium status, which I'm sure was much more enjoyable and scenic for the young insect. Yojimbo was young, tiny [only about 1.5'' long], and beige-brown coloured. She lived happily for many weeks, dining on the finest crickets money can by` for 9 cents. Twice she shed her skin [molted], growing significantly larger each time. For you see, praying mantises molt seven times in their lives, gaining their wings after the seventh molting.
Around mid-august, I went to Petsmart to buy crickets for Yojimbo, who was nearing her final molting, and swelling like a ridiculously ripe tomato. Upon my homeward arrival, I dumped the bag of thirty crickets into the cage of the beastly mantid-creature, and she began destroying and devouring them immediately. One night, several days later, I was watching T.V in my basement. At around 3AM I was about to go to bed, so i went to turn off the light above the terrarium, and to my dismay Yojimbo was not hanging on the lid where she had been the last few days. She had begun to molt, only she had fallen off the lid during this time, and as her soft, vulnerable, freshly molted abdomen had emerged from her shedding skin, the twenty some-odd crickets on the floor of the enclosure swarmed her as she struggled to pull herself from the rest of her skin, her legs were flailing, her front claws were pawing towards the top of the cage - her only means of escape from the carnage. It was too late for me to do anything once I saw what was happening - she was already half eaten. I decided to just let nature take its course. I turned off the light and went to bed, troubled. It was a very sad occasion indeed.
The next day, however, I received a call from ~BadDreamAquarius, saying she had found and successfully captured a stick bug which she wanted me to take and provide shelter for. I went over and soon enough we had found a second stick insect. They were to occupy Yojimbo's terrarium for the next few weeks. Now don't get me wrong... Stick bugs are a remarkable evolutionary phenomenon, but for the love of god, they are fucking boring as hell. This is why I was so delighted this morning when a new mantis came to my doorstep.
The new mantis is fully grown, deep green, and furthermore, resilient to cricket mutiny. I had a feeling I'd find another one... what else could avenge the death of Yojimbo against the evil crickets? It's kinda like karma, on an insect level. heh. Incidentally, I don't think the crickets even mind being eaten. I mean, they twitch a bit at first, and kick their legs until they realize they won't be set free from the spiny grasp of the mantis, and then they kind of just look around and clean their antennae as their insides are ripped out, appendages cut off, etc - A human equivalent of doing your nails and watching Lord of The Rings while your arms and legs are removed with a chainsaw. But yeah, Just thought I'd report...

- Spanks